do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
