I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His hands were made for my vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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