i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
