I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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