i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
as a side note pls kill me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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