It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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