Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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  (805): we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend http://tfl.nu/2gsx
  Replies (75) Good night (3405) Bad night (10229)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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  (617): She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her. http://tfl.nu/25nb
  Replies (123) Good night (1245) Bad night (4727)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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  (859): I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze. http://tfl.nu/hayj
  Replies (17) Good night (844) Bad night (5194)
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  (310): View more from California

  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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  (310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif
  Replies (30) Good night (5620) Bad night (990)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1816) Bad night (4266)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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  (609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5
  Replies (9) Good night (982) Bad night (3097)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (2238) Bad night (1610)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.

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  (904): Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental. http://tfl.nu/zhtp
  Replies (4) Good night (2406) Bad night (752)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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  (434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1
  Replies (4) Good night (2358) Bad night (1259)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.

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  (979): He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/z7tj
  Replies (10) Good night (891) Bad night (2154)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'

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  (845): I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.' http://tfl.nu/qnb2
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (1303)
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  (619): View more from California

  For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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  (619): For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this. http://tfl.nu/nvhn
  Replies (14) Good night (2009) Bad night (635)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe

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  (512): Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe http://tfl.nu/yms0
  Replies (7) Good night (374) Bad night (777)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.

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  (606): Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up. http://tfl.nu/lrhd
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (293)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?

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  (832): I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that? http://tfl.nu/175m
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (225)

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