Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pappa wants mamma naked

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  (847): Pappa wants mamma naked http://tfl.nu/uc4c
  Replies (5) Good night (1215) Bad night (945)
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  (415): View more from California

  we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one

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  (415): we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one http://tfl.nu/7sll
  Replies (16) Good night (1064) Bad night (622)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.

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  (647): a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much. http://tfl.nu/8vwu
  Replies (79) Good night (4317) Bad night (912)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1742) Bad night (3655)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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  (205): Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook http://tfl.nu/0mxm
  Replies (24) Good night (3913) Bad night (779)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

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  (703): It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement... http://tfl.nu/l7x1
  Replies (8) Good night (2094) Bad night (1822)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

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  (703): He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job http://tfl.nu/934s
  Replies (14) Good night (1807) Bad night (7423)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (2227) Bad night (893)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

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  (352): Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans. http://tfl.nu/fhpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1542) Bad night (634)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.

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  (306): woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize.. (306): also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/t99m
  Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (346)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (373)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

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  (504): Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls. (985): Do it. DO IT. There can be only one. http://tfl.nu/899w
  Replies (3) Good night (1279) Bad night (398)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"

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  (917): Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there" http://tfl.nu/jagl
  Replies (1) Good night (1077) Bad night (395)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later

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  (313): some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later http://tfl.nu/zhqr
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (403)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.

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  (248): Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up. http://tfl.nu/1llp
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (230)

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