This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.