I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
