My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.