all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
