Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
