You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
