i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
