just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
