A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
why is half of my head shaved?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize