i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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