you win again, gameday.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
