If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
