you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
