I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Panties = found
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