But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
