What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
