he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
