he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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