I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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