There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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