you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
