Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
