My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
