I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're like the curious george of whores
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When did angry sex become our thing?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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