Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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