idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
