Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
