we have officially lost it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
