There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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