What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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