we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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