The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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