I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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