If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
