Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
