the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize