it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
