just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize