he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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