that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
