There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
