the new term for farting is butt boxing.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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