thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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