i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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