do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
