He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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