East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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