I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
