I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
