do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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