girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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