There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
