Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
