Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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