My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
