Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
