Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
