He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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