im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
