It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
