just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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