ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
