Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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