He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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